It’s Complicated [2009] — 10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1230414/

Now this one caught me completely by surprise. I knew going into it that I was going to love it before it even started. Something I should always be wary of. It seems to be in my case that if I love a movie before I see it, I end up hating it. This was completely not true of this film.

It was one of those movies that seemed like it was never going to end, however not in a bad way. It was on the contrary something that I didn’t want to end it was so good.

Honestly though, what do you expect when you mix Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin in the same film? FUCKING GOLD! Whoever was the casting person thingy did such an amazing job that I want to give them a blowjob. No joke. There is really no way you can ever get a better cast than this. I have never been so convinced in my life that this was not a true story and someone was following a family around with a camera. It was that real. I have been so convinced of it in my whole life.

The only actor that actually caught me off guard on how good he was, not to mention essential to the film itself was John Krasinski. I laughed and cried and was gleeful almost the entire time that he was on stage. His part came straight out of nowhere and I am so glad that they put him in.

The plot is well, I hate to use the title of the film, but it was complicated. It’s not at all complicated when you are watching the movie because it flows well from one event to the next. It’s extremely easy to follow, but when you try to explain it to someone else it’s nearly impossible. Any attempt to actually try and explain it would just make it sound terrible. Just know that it is awesome. I never expected it to be that good.

I may be cutting this short, but I’m telling you that it was well worth you time to watch this. I wouldn’t exactly call it a chick flick either. It was well enjoyed by me and what seemed like every other guy in the theatre.

Base score = 8
+1 for Meryl Streep
+1 for Alec Baldwin
+1 for Steve Martin
+1 for John Krasinski
+1 for amazing acting all around
+1 for “Home Sweet Home”
=14/10

Extract [2009] — 2

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1225822/

So I saw that this was new DVD release and I thought. “huh, I’ll give it a try.” Bad mistake and a good thing that I only rented it.

I can honestly say that there were 2 things that drew me into this movie, and one of them should have been a dead giveaway that it would suck. Look at the cover art. “From the creators of Office Space” anything that references a movie that is epic beyond possibilities means that its nothing more than a Cleveland steamer. I should have listened to that part of me, but no. I saw the cute girl, Mila Kunis and decided that there was no way it was that bad. Stupid male mind.

But here’s the other thing that threw me off. The beginning was awesome! Like it makes you want to sit down and watch the rest of it awesome. It turns out that the beginning was the only good part. I laughed at the beginning and one other scene during this 92 minute crap fest. And one of them wasn’t even about the movie itself, but about the fact that Gene Simmons, aka lead singer of Kiss, was in it. I laughed at that.

The one thing I knew I was going to hate going into this movie though was the fact that it had Jason Bateman in it. I fucking hate Jason Bateman for the simple fact that he plays the same exact character in every movie. Seriously, show me a movie where he acts differently (and its convincing different) and I will retract this statement. I flat out cannot stand him. My hatred is about the same for Bateman as it is for Nicholas Cage.

****SPOILER ALERT****

As far as the story goes it’s pretty weak. It barely even gives the writer a chance to make comedy out of it. I mean think about it. Bateman owns factory. Company wants to buy out factory. Accident happens in factory. Company is sketchy about buying factory because of legal obligations. A hot temp girl comes along (Kunis). Bateman wants to have an affair, so he pays a gigolo to screw his wife so he doesn’t feel guilty. He ends up not selling the factory. End of story.

SEARIOUSLY! WTF! There’s barely anything there to keep the movie going more or less it’s supposed to be a comedy. Do you think that you could make a comedy out of it? Because I know that there is no way I could make that funny.

****END SPOILER****

I expected at least to laugh at more than just the intro. I wasn’t expecting comedic gold like Office Space had, but I was expecting something. I can honestly say that the music did not even catch my ear at all. It sucked also.

All in all if you must see this movie than watch the first 20 minutes and turn it off. It’s not worth your time. However if you want my even more honest opinion, destroy the disk before you even put it in so that you can save yourself and others from the agony you are about to impale upon yourself.

Base Score = 3
+1 for Mila Kunis
+1 for Gene Simmons
-2 for Jason Bateman
-1 for crappy story
+1 for a good intro
-1 for not really being a comedy
=2/10

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs [2009] — 10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0844471/

I really don’t remember when it was that I started liking kid’s movies, but it’s something I think that I will always love from now on. There is just something about them that appeal to me in a way that’s hard to explain. This movie is no exception.

I had a feeling that this movie was going to fail. I did some research on it before it came to theatres and saw that the movie was going to be based on the beloved children’s book. BASED! That means they are changing things! I was not happy, even after seeing the trailer for it I was a little angry. However after watching it, I take back my comment and continue on. It was good, REALLY good.

I expected a few funny parts and a whole bunch of crazy food stuff to happen. But I didn’t expect a lot of things that happened in this movie. For instance, the amazing voice cast that they had. Seriously, just check out the IMDB page and see for yourself. My favorites though have to be Bruce Campbell, NPH and of course Mr. T. I cannot believe that these guys are in the film. I nearly crapped myself when I figured it out.

The story is basically that there’s a kid who invents things. They live in a town where the only thing they have to eat is sardines. So he wants to create a device that turns water into food. When he powers it up, it shuts down the power on his block, so he needs to find a way to get more power to it. So he goes to the power plant, and hooks it up. Well the things goes crazy like a rocket and gets launched into the atmosphere, and the next thing you know is that it’s raining cheeseburgers. I won’t give anymore away than that. But it’s AWESOME!

There were so many times in this movie that I was nearly on the floor from laughing that I was sitting most of the movie with my eyes bugged out on the edge of my chair waiting for what was going to happen next. I don’t think I have been this excited about a kid’s movie since the last Pixar film.

All in all this movie will appeal to everyone. Unless you have an undying hatred for kids films. I loved the ever living crap out of this movie and if someone asked me if I wanted to watch it again I would not let them finish the sentence and have it playing before they stopped. I would be that quick to put it in.

Base Score = 8
+1 for scientist kid (I was the same way as a child)
+3 for Bruce Campbell
+1 for NPH
+1 for Mr. T
+1 for having me laughing at the edge of seat for most of the movie
=15/10

Lack of posts lately

sorry about the lack of posts lately guys. I have been really busy starting up school and fixing things and paying bills, etc you know the usual. I promise an update tonight, and hopefully several more over the next few days.

-Bryce D

Happy New Year!

Goodbye 2009 you served me well, now get the fuck out its time for 2010!

-Bryce D

Twilight — 3

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/

I would like to say that when I saw this movie for the first time I was bored to tears, it really had me wondering what the hell made the books and this movie so popular. I am still confused about what makes its fan base so huge that it is sickening to watch videos on YouTube of New Moons opening night.

I never really have any desire to watch these movies, but my girlfriend wanted to watch this movie again, so I sat down with her and hoped that after seeing New Moon that it would make Twilight just a little bit better. Holy crap was I wrong. Even with how boring both movies are, it turns out that after watching New Moon, Twilight is sooo bad it’s not even funny. The only thing that can make Twilight any better is the RiffTrax version. Seriously that is the only way I was able to tolerate my way through this one again.

I dread the day that my girlfriend wants to have marathon with these movies.

Anyone enough bitching about how bad the movie is, let’s move on to complaining on how bad it is.

I actually found myself doing other things than wanting to watch the film, that’s always a bad thing, at one point I found that I was behind my computer surfing the net totally not paying attention. I had no idea I was doing it till I wondered where that strange noise was coming from. Turns out I was mentally blocking the movie and not even noticing it. Not a good sign.

Now I am a native of Seattle, so the only thing that really caught my attention was the scenery and the desire to go on a hike. Really that was the only thing that kept me watching the first time through, and it helps… a lot. But even with the gorgeous Pacific Northwest scenery I still found the storyline dragging on, boring, dull, less exciting then being on a carousel at the age of 50, and you’re not with a child.

There are a million reasons on why to avoid this film, but for those of us with girlfriends, we are doomed for the rest of our lives. Here’s to hoping that the 3rd movie will have some sort of plot.

Base Score = 4
-1 for no plot
+2 for Pacific Northwest
-1 for being boring
-1 for having to shun the fact that there will be more movies in this shitty world and I will be dragged to them.
=3/10